What in the DEVILLL is going on here!
by Trades of Trickery
Summary: A collection of one-shots about anybody anyone anything, Rated T for Suicide ad whatnot also I get Paranoid, so yeah.  Also you will not get the title if you are not an AVPM/S fan :
1. Chapter 1

_To Skulduggery-_

_No Love for anyone, cept you._

_No one made my heart beat like you, and then you left._

_No emotion Lay in my eyes, none that I let anyone see of course._

_Emotions a funny thing they let people have power over you, they let people control you,_

_That's why I never showed anyone, my emotions, only you._

_Then you went and left, god it killed me when you were dragged through that portal, I cried when you left, did you know that? Probably not._

_I curled up in my bed and cried for you to come back, you didn't though and for a year you left me and everyone else._

_You never loved me though you always loved that Cain girl, it killed me you know? To see you to laughing, together, joking about, well I'm sorry, I won't come between you anymore; you won't have to deal with me anymore, By the time you read this I'll be gone._

_Goodbye Skulduggery I Love You._

_~China Sorrows x._

The Next Day China Sorrows Killed herself cos no one knew how much she loved him till of course they found the letter clutched in her limp, Lifeless hands.

So do you like it? Rate and review :D


	2. Chapter 2

I struggled under the hands of sanguine, he had gotten stronger since our last fight, and he knew it, he pulled out his straight razor and held it to my throat, "Looks like your time as come, ,"He said in his Texan Drawl, I cried out again as he put pressure on my throat, suddenly the windows burst open and, Skullduggery, Tanith, Ghastly and China came flying threw.

Sanguine gulped and loosened his grip, just as springheeled jack dusk and Crux strolled through the door, I kicked sanguine in the gut and he flew backwards then the fight started, Tanith jumped towards jack brandishing her sword, sword against claw, China walked towards crux and flung waves of blue and gold arrows towards him, Elemental against Adept, Skull took dusk, Vampire against Elemental, Ghastly took Sanguine, Marr came flying through the window a manic expression on her face, I sent shadows streaming towards her the grabbed her arms and legs, pulling her down she landed on the floor with a thud, I Sent waves of air at her we she deflected with her own, fireballs came hurling towards me, I dodged them and sent my own with precision, they each hit her and she fell, in a burnt lump on the floor, I grinned and sent shadows flying towards dusk who was sneaking up on skull, he went flying into the wall, I laughed, Ghastly, was being pulled down by sanguine, I sent shadows at him which wrapped around his arms, he cried out as they were broken, sanguine fell in pain, I Smirked as the rest of them backed off, Fletcher came and teleported us away.

"So, Val why was Sanguine trying to kill you?" Skull asked concerned "I took his straight razor again," I replied with a smirk Skull sighed and we went our separate ways ready for another day.


	3. Chapter 3

A FREAKING POEM! I DONT FREAKING OWN THE FREAKING SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT SERIES...Unfortunately...

_Master of Flame, Yet No Flesh To Burn A skeleton, Yet was once a Human Being Bones as white as chalk, Yet he wears clothes, made by a master Taylor, Ghastly bespoke His taken Name, The cursed one, scars cover his face, his one love Tanith Low, a master sword woman, won many a battle, a childish side is often present despite the murders she has presented, her best friend, the girl who controls Necromancy and elemental magic, set to save or destroy the world, Her true name Darquesse, or The death bringer, onto her boyfriend the last of his kind, a teleporter who opened the faceless ones portal, cares about his hair but Valkyrie more, the Famous five, the golden gang, save the world from harm._


	4. Chapter 4

"Skull?"

"Yes Valkyrie?"

"You know you love me, Yeah?"

"I wouldn't say love, but go on"

"Umm, could you possibly maybe forgive me if I crashed the Bentley?"

"YOU CRASHED THE BENTLEY?"

"Now, now, it'll be fine...once I get it out of the lake..."

"VALKYRIE CAIN, GET MY CAR OUT OF THE LAKE RIGHT NOW!"

"Calm down fletchers getting it out..."

"Valkyrie?"

"Yeah?"

"Fletchers Here."

"Oh...Um...COMING MUM!"

And with that Valkyrie ran off with Tanith low after crashing skulduggery's Bentley in the lake...

HIYAH LOL so how is everyone? And just so you know I will be doing the battle scene in this little fic so Fracturedlittlewishes you can kill her but it'll be in one little story sorry :/


	5. Chapter 5

The Dark haired woman stood facing Darquesse, Tattoos of reds and gold's, blues and greens , blacks and silvers , swirled around her body, they shone through the black catsuit she wore, she walked towards Darquesse, her pale blue eyes shone with determination, no rennant possed her body, yet she looked sick, sick at what her dear friend had become, Darquesse spoke her voice showed no emotion, like her face, her face which was riddled with scars, and burns " China, Poor china there's no one left now, I killed them all remember?" China froze as she heard the voices and screams of all her friends, associates, Her brother, she screamed curses at Darquesse and hurled waves of red and yellow, blue and green , and black, they all hit Darquesse, she sent arrows of red and silver at her they shot through Darquesse's legs and arms making her fall, she then pulled a revolver from her pocket, a revolver that was far too familiar, it brought back memories of summers and winters, cases and fights, none of them could Darquesse control or fight , she screamed as they ploughed through her mind, bringing back the memory of Valkyrie Cain , and suddenly the rennant that had possed Valkyrie for so long flew out of her body, she fell as she was once Valkyrie Cain again, Skulduggery and Tanith, Ghastly and Fletcher and many other mages came out from hiding , they had been too scared to go and confront Darquesse, so of course they sent the one girl who feared nothing, who was too much like Darquesse for anyone's liking, they smiled as they saw China standing over the unconscious body of the once most feared sorcerer in the world, " China? Is...Is she dead?" A tearful Tanith asked China shook her head, Tanith sighed with relief she walked over to Valkyrie and picked her up, people looked around and thought to themselves _true to her name she did raise Cain_...

Ok well that was just a little thing of Darquesse cos I got bored Review please? :D


	6. Meeting Midnight

Yep I was in deep shit; here I am tied up to a chair, and who by? Well none other than lord vile, urrgh god why can't skulduggery just kill him already, and know here he comes to torture me some more, "Cain, are you ready to die?" he asked his voice was greasy "No, But are you?" I replied, he looked confused then noticed that my hands were in my lap, and a smile was on my face, I clicked my fingers conjuring a flame, he frowned his armour, dullened as he looked into my dark eyes, h3e flicked his hand and shadows curled around me, my own tried to protect my body but couldn't, I screamed as they crushed my arms, the door suddenly burst down and there stood a girl with electric green eyes and hair as black as midnight "Jade midnight we meet again," Vile whispered and then she charged.

Hey guys hope you enjoyed this first part of the fic I'll update soon


	7. Authors Note PLEASE ACTUALLY READ

Hey guy's, so I need some OC's okay?

So I only need 4 OC's Okay so heres the things you need-

Name-

Gender-

Power (?)-

If yes what?-

Clothes-

Appearance-

Personality-

Age-

Thanks so review or pm me you're OC's :D


	8. Chapter 8

Hello! , Ok so here is a chapter about Mademise Morte's character: Sally Sinensis enjoy

She walked through the dully lit hallways of her old, dusty house, the green dress she was wearing today, flowed behind her, the frills fluttering about, her long sleeves, went past her sickly pink hands, the doc martins which were on her feet clamped along the floors, making a dull thumping sound which echoed through the rather empty house, she came to her living room and stopped she let go of the cream teacup she was holding, it was filled with tea, as it fell it smashed and the tea stained the cream carpet, her black eyes, froze as she saw the people standing in the room, Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain.

Skulduggery Pleasant pulled out his gun and pointed it at sally, she frowned, he smiled, his facade was up and it was a very handsome one, blue eyes and light brown hair, Valkyrie Cain looked normal except for the fact that her usually, warm brown eyes were know cold, she clicked her fingers and a flame ignited flickering in the dully lit room, she opened her mouth to scream, but Skulduggery, put his finger to his lips, she nodded "We know about your visions, ," She gaped, her eyes wide stuttering she replied "How do you know?" She asked un-intelligently, she knew the answer, but couldn't understand it, suddenly the trigger was pulled and the echo of the gun-shot sounded through the house, Sally Sinensis fell.

The bullet went straight through her chest and plunged into her heart, she let out a strangled scream and fell, blood poured from her sickly pink chest, her young looking face fell, and her eyes rolled back into her head, sally Sinensis was no more.

Sorry for killing her off... but the idea came to mind again sorry :]


	9. Chapter 9

Hello World! This is a chapter about Whiskas1393 Character Jasmine Words, Enjoy! ,

She blew her dark hair out of her equally dark eyes, she wiped her paint covered hands on her jeans and smiled, she had painted the great battle, the battle in which her Father had died, her brother tortured and her mother, turned to the other side, Killed by pleasant, she stood up and straightened her band t-shirt out, paramour of course, and strode out of her flat, as she locked the door, and turned pleasant stood there, just him his scarf flitted in the wind, she froze as he brought up his revolver and pointed it at her, then she remembered, what he had done to her mother, she channelled all her emotions into her black necromancer bracelet and they curled around pleasants body, was enfolded in shadows, he let out a strangled scream, and a dark haired, sprinted round the corner, Cain.

She released Pleasant, and headed for the girl, she summoned flames in her hands and sent them at the girl, they penetrated the girls coat, burning her she screamed and used water to put them out, Jasmine, turned and ran, and pulled out a little flask from her pocket, Red Bull and coke mixed together was the perfect energy drink, she screamed as she felt the energy pulsing through her, she headed for the woods and for the house in which her gang had its meetings, they were there, the lights were on , Jasmine whistled three times, there whistle and they came out of the hut, four girls and six boys all mages, Pleasant had recovered and was walking with Cain, This was going to be fun she thought, "Take the girl, Pleasant is mine,".

They nodded and advanced on her, Cain smiled and let the shadows rage, they darted forward, effulging the Mages, a burst of light darted from the shadows, the Shadows split, Cain screamed as they attacked her, fireballs were sent everywhere, trees burnt and people fell, Jasmine turned and faced pleasant, they circled eachother fireballs and shadows, were raging Jasmine threw, fireballs and they enfolded the detective, she sent streams of shadows at him and they crushed his bones, Cain screamed as she watched her mentor die, tears streamed down her face, Jasmine smiled, "It hurts doesn't it, losing someone you love?, I should know it was HIM that killed MY mother!," venom dripped from her voice, Cain nodded fear in her eyes, Jasmine looked around, her gang was slowly recovering from the attack, they advanced on Cain, Jasmines face fell when she noticed, there were only three girls, her voice was hoarse and bitter when she spoke, "Where's Carman?" They looked around until their eyes fell on the charred body of Carman, the fairy girl, she had been abandoned at birth, for one simple misfortune, she had been born with, black delicate fairy wings, they had grown with her and where know the size of Jasmines muscled average legs, they now lay limp, then Jasmine realised what Carman had done, she had used her strength to break through the shadows giving herself up as a sacrifice, in hope that the others could win the battle, Jasmine screamed with rage and pointed at Cain, "You did this, YOU!" she surrendered to the shadows and they attacked Valkyrie screamed as Cain saw everyone she ever loved die- Fletcher, Tanith, Ghastly, China, her Mum and Dad, her Sister, Solomon, and then finally she died her bones shattered and fire burned her body, soon all there was left was her single, necromancer ring, Jasmine turned and smiled the shadows released her, she picked up Carman's body, they dug a grave for her and placed her in it, when suddenly all around them fairies, of all shapes and sizes, appeared.

They danced and sang beautiful songs till the dead if the night, when Carman's body was placed in the newly dug grave, the fairies said there farewells and everything was quiet, once again.

Sorry a bit of a sad ending, Hope you liked it :D


	10. Chapter 10

Hello Another update? Well you are lucky! :D

Skull-Human Form

Here is a chapter about the epic amazing Fracturedlittlewishes character: Thoughts Misplaced Enjoy :D-

Prologue-

She was doing the world a favour, it was her job, sure she might feel bad about it, but sometimes things have to be done, this was one of those things...

She smiled, an evil grin spread across her, to innocent to be true face, her slim figure was dressed in steampunk clothes she had inherited form her brother, before she ran away of course, goggles hung around her pale neck, her grey eyes shone with mischief and her victim, was shaking, she smiled and spoke her voice bubbly, "We my dear are, going to play a game, a mind game to be precise," her voice was filled with so much glee that it was insane, She frowned and spoke her voice was shaking with so much fear "Wh...Wha...what do you mean?" Thoughts smiled and plunged herself into the girls mind, the girl was of course Valkyrie Cain.

Inside Cain's mind was darkness, fear was seen, and felt Thoughts shivered, it was a cold place, filled with blank places and dark thoughts, she began finding the memories of her and skulduggery she twisted them and manipulated them making Valkyrie scream and writhe in pain, she next went onto the thoughts of her an Fletcher, and twisted them into some more dark twisted things, Valkyrie again screamed in pain, blood poured from her nose and Thoughts smiled, her plan was so working, step one-kill Valkyrie, step 2-save the world- step three- destroy the world without her in it, perfect she thought, just perfect, Valkyrie screamed and blood poured from her mouth making her choke, well thoughts thought this is fun, just then skulduggery burst thought he window of the cellar.

Thoughts sighed and pulled a gun from her pocket, he pulled his own gun and pointed it at her, thoughts smiled and pulled the trigger it hit skulduggery square in the chest he screamed and fell, tears ran from Valkyrie eyes, mixing with the blood they ran purely on the little strength she had left, thoughts smiled sadly and put the gun to Valkyrie head and whispered sadly "Goodbye Valkyrie Cain," Valkyrie nodded and closed her eyes, Thoughts pulled her goggles on and pulled the trigger, blood splattered out and covered the glasses, she sighed and knelt down besides Cain, she took the necromancy ring from her and placed it on her own finger, and suddenly she felt power she never knew she could posses, and that was when it all started, that was when the world came to an end...It all started with Valkyrie Cain, And it ended with her...


	11. Chapter 11

Hey their! So here is the new chapter of Dreams and Laughing I might change the name though, so could you reviewers give me some ideas PM me or Review :D

Val's POV-

Vile and the girl circled eachother, shadows covered the room, swirling into patterns and designs, across the walls, the ceiling and the floor, darkness overwhelmed the room , then vile struck the girl, sending arrows of shadows at her, she dodged them with ease sending her own, the each hit vile perfectly, he grunted as they pierced the gaps in his armour, I stood there helplessly, my arms broken and too weak to run, the girl looked at me and I realised that she knew that to, in the few seconds she took her eyes of Vile he had sent shadows at her, they hit her and she fell back, grunting when suddenly a velvet smooth voice rang through the chamber, "Now Now Vile why don't you play nicely with your daughter?" Daughter I thought, Midnights his daughter, then it all made sense, how she knew were to find me, how she knew exactly the right place to shoot the arrows, how her necromancy was so good, my knees failed and I fell, landing on the hard concrete in my own blood, my eyes blurred and I heard a raspy laugh, before I blacked out I saw an array silver spring then land on Vile, then there was darkness...

Jades POV-

I walked silently through my father's door, I heard the vampires stalking the halls, as I prowled through the corridor, I saw three vampires up ahead of me, they were gracefully stalking through the halls, they turned and there glistening, fangs came sliding down they snarled and I winked, as they came charging towards me I laughed, shadows curled around my body, there long claws scratched at me, the shadows protected my body, they screeched unnatural sounds, I laughed, then I heard the greasy laughter of, my past torturer, "Come now my sweets leave her to me," they obeyed snarling, and stalked away, I let the shadows down and drew a slender knife from my black biker jacket, it glistened in the dully lit corridor, shadows curled around it, I flicked it and shadows came spiralling form the tip, they attacked my captor, he laughed and with a flick of his wrist, his shadows overwhelmed , mine I walked forward and grabbed his throat, ignoring the shadows that curled around my hand, he choked and I slammed him into the wall, the shadows were now curling up my back and around my ankles, trying to drag me down, with a flick of my knife my own loosened the grip, they retreated back to him, slithering back down my back, I tightened my grip on his neck and growled, "Why have you got Cain here?, is it some sick plan of yours, because I will stop you, you know I will," he growled and shadows attacked me, again I sent my own, shadows battled out, I strained, more and more shadows shot out, but mine were no match for his, mine failed and I fell, he walked over to me, and laughed, I laughed to and he looked down at me, his face confused, then I plunged the knife into, my captors leg, my father's leg, Lord Viles leg, and with that he fell...

Sorry If it didn't make sense XF I rushed it a little, again sorry and check out me and Fracturedlittlewishes fanfic, A game in a maze Please check it out and review review review!


	12. Chapter 12

Hey their Fanfiction Girls and Guys! How you all doing? Here is the next chapter for dreams and laughing review please?

Defenceless-

I tried so hard, but in the end I was,

Defenceless

I tried to fight, to stop it from happening, but in the end I was

Taken

They took everything away from me, the pain was too much, so I

Fell

The shadows overtook my body, and I fought to keep control but it was

Useless

Know, I am the most feared person in the world, but inside it

Hurts

Inside I'm still the scared little girl I was years ago, but that all

Changed

I was their vessel, there body and know we are

One

I'm sorry Skull, but I can't pretend anymore I am

Darquesse

And I let the shadows win, so know I am

Defenceless.

I hope you enjoyed it was just a short little poem about Darquesse


	13. Chapter 13

Heyah! Another update! :D enjoy!

Blue eyes, sin black hair, perfect figure, she was perfect, the envy of many, girls, boys and men alike wanted her, yet she had eyes for only one, girls and women, they envied her grace and charm, yet they fell under the same spell as many had, her laugh was as delicate as rose petals, yet as deadly as poison, everybody but one cast her out, everyone except him, childhood friends, even when her own family had thrown her out, he stayed, took her in hugged her through the pain filled nights, that's when she first witnessed love.

Green eyes, dark brown hair that glistened in the sun, muscled and tanned, boys and men hated him, yet wanted to be him, girls wanted him, yet he only had eyes for one, men and boys, they envied the way he could easily talk to women, the way he would wrap them around his little finger, his charm and seemingly kind nature, but inside he was a twisted figure, murder and malice were given to his name, yet still he hugged t he one he loved through the pain filled nights, in which she would cry, and whimper as the nightmares struck, in some consideration, one might think that they were the same, but really they were complete opposites, but as the old saying goes, opposites attract.

A little chinduggery :D


	14. Chapter 14

Hello! :D This is the next instalment in Dreams and Laughing, Sorry for not updating soon, I don't have an excuse *Puts hands up in surrender* NO DONT THROW THOSE CHOCOLATE EGGS AT ME! :D So I hope you enjoy this Chapter, Oh yeah and it is dedicated to Rubaline Shadows for Our Epic Facebook conversations! :D So enjoy deary!,

Tanith sighed, and slumped down in her chair, Val was next to her, reading a book, when suddenly she heard a noise, a very familiar noise it was the ice-cream man!, Tanith squealed with delight and grabbed Valkyrie by the hand, Val looked up, at the squealing Tanith and sighed, she put down the book, and stood, rising quickly, she pulled her hand from Tanith's and smiled brightly, along with her "LETS GO GET AN ICECREAM!" Tanith squealed, Valkyrie nodded, and they sprinted out the door, squealing armed with money, and they ran towards the ice cream man who had finished giving out Ice-cream, and was starting to leave, they barged past parents with children and shouted down the road, Parents tutted as they screamed at the ice cream man who was now stopping, to see what the commotion was about, when he saw the girls he stopped his truck, and opened the window, "How are my two favourite customers, the usual?" the Ice-ream man named Carl grinned, The girls nodded and Carl handed them their Ice-creams Bubblegum flavoured, with all the sauces and all the toppings, they payed and walked of, giggling and laughing, getting disapproving, looks from their neighbours, suddenly, Tanith giggled and waked the ice-cream into Val's nose, Val gasped, and did the same to Tanith, who moved her head at the last minute, so her hair took the impact, Tanith gasped as blue ice-cream melted and ran down her hair, dying it and making it rather sticky, Val shrieked and started sprinting away from Tanith, who was close behind her, laughing as she scaled the houses, and roofs, Val laughed and beckoned Tanith down, Tanith casually strolled down the side of Gordon's mansion, they walked inside and Tanith went upstairs, to rinse out her hair, whilst Val dumped her now melted Ice cream in the bin and thought to herself, I_'ve never actually tried that ice cream, _Humph.

Did you guys like it/Hate it? Review? And there will be cookies and hugs and Ice cream!


	15. Chapter 15

Hey, I'm In a slightly depressing mood, so here is a slightly depressing, fiction-

I walked to my brothers grave, leaves crunched harshly under my feet, as I neared it, I found that someone, had placed one freshly pruned white rose, in front of it, rose on front, I picked it up, and hissed as it pricked my fingers, crimson blood dripped onto it, ruining the white petals, staining them with tainted blood, then remembering the reason I came, I dropped to my knees, the pure white snow crunching under my weight, I sighed letting the tears I had held in for so long fall, they dropped onto the snow covered ground, they disappeared instantly, showing no signs of ever being there, my sin black hair fell in my face, masking the tears that continued to fall, and four months I realised, I missed him, I missed his string arms hugging me, I missed his blue piercing eyes, that would soften, whenever you saw me, I finally realised after, moths of denial I missed him, finally after what seemed like hours of grieving, I finished, mopping up the remaining tears with my gloved hand I stood, then grabbing the rose, I crushed it in my hand, it was tainted, yet still perfect, when I opened it, it was a mangled beauty, I released it, I watched as it floated to the floor, landing on the snow, and I realised I had much more in common with the mangled rose.

_We were both broken with perfection._

Sorry about that! Depressed mood hope you liked it, even though it probably made no sense what so fucking ever! :l


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Pottermore,

Yes, we know how to count down from 15

Sincerely,(Angry Potterheads) Tanith and Valkyrie

WHO WAS WAITING FOR POTTERMORE? I WAS! 1 fucking hour of sleep .hour -.-


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: asdfghjkl I have not updated in an age!  
Here is a quick update!  
ENJOY!**

He watched from the shadows, admiring the blonde-haired woman who stood leaning against the frame of the door, she was talking to the skeleton, damn him; he always got the girls, even with no skin!  
He smirked as the woman turned around and walked towards him, she'd always known where he was, there was no secret you could keep from her, she reached her hand forward and grabbed his shirt, pulling him forward "What are you doing here Wreath?" she snarled, not relinquishing her grip "Well I was just admiring the view my dear." Wreath said smirking, she narrowed her eyes and sighed, "Piss off Wreath, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to be near you!" Wreath smirked even more, "You weren't saying that a few nights ago," he said whilst prising her fingers of his top, she gripped tighter, and he gave up "You always were tougher than me" she grinned, flexing her muscles underneath her leather outfit, she then turned and pulled him back into the shadows.  
Taking his head in her hands, she pressed her lips to his, he moaned, he had been waiting for this.  
Unknown to the two lovers, a scarred man collapsed to his knees, and sobbed into his hands, mourning the loss of his love.

**A/N-This was darker than it was meant to be...oh well! Rubaline Shadows, Thank you for helping with the pairing and keeping me entertained :') **


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